Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm just crazy horny about you
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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