We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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