I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
