I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize