come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
