I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
