kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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