So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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