you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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