it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
