I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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