So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You need a sexual gate keeper
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
