The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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