I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
