accomplished twins. life is a go
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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