is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
