If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
