Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
