About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
