How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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