we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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