I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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