we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize