Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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