The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I deserve this hangover.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
