And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
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Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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