We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
