drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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