He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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