My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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