Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
