Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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