Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
