Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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