Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
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