well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
