would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we're making bets on your personal life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.