My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
