True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment