She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
