Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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