i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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