I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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