I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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