I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
