nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
