literally had 100 drinks last night.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
