i think my tv is drunk
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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