my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize
