she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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