absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
