i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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