Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
PANTIES FOUND
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