She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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