five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if only i could text you this smell
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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