Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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