I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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