While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
