well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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