I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
