Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
