I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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