i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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