Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
