I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
