hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
