you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
