He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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