He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
