It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
