i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
